This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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