he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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