I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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