loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
