Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
