I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
