Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
