Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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