White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
A+ Viking dick
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
