My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
