butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
