I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
This toilet bowl is my home.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
