i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
