i think i have herpe
just one?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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