I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
