Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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