the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
