I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
