Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
