If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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