Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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