I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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