I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
