are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
