Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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