I'm going to jail i love you
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
