your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
