The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
vagina is talking i cant
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
