I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
