if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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