it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
