I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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