well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
