38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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