My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
