Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
