Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
