Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
