We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
