this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
