He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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