Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
