Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
