he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
