she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
