we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
