We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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