Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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