11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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