Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
